Double Digits, Baby (10w0d)

Ten weeks. It's nice to see those numbers growing, even though I have a long way to go before I can relax. But every new week brings a new sense of calm. Plus, I feel like I can laugh at all those dire warnings of debilitating morning sickness since I seem to have avoided that unfortunate pregnancy symptom.

The cool things about pregnancy so far?

Longer, stronger nails-- I have to file them every few days because they're growing like crazy.

Better hair-- It's not shedding as badly as usual and most days are good hair days.

Healthy food cravings-- I want fruit, salads, cheese and protein (usually chicken).

Vivid dreams-- my imagination is going wild while I sleep. Dreams of jungles and animals and otherworldly places. Not to mention enough sex dreams to keep me writing erotica for another ten years. Hee.

Body awareness-- I don't know how to explain this one except to say I'm much more aware of my body in a good, healthy, sensual way.

Nesting instinct-- I'm already cleaning out drawers and tossing out junk.


The negatives of pregnancy have been minimal for me so far...

Fatigue-- I feel tired a lot of the time and have been taking naps most afternoons/evenings. It's really not so bad as a symptom goes, as long as I can get a nap or more sleep at night. Except...

Insomnia-- My insomnia is worse than usual these days. I wake up in the middle of the night and it takes me hours to fall back to sleep.

Heart palpitations-- I don't get these very often, but they're disturbing. I think it's a side effect of the Prometrium, so hopefully it'll fade after week 12.

Heightened sense of smell-- This hasn't been too bad, but the smell of cleaning solutions gives me a headache.

PMS Boobs 24/7-- They are tender and achy most of the time.

Honestly, that's the worst of it. There were those few days of nausea early on before I figured out I need to keep something in my stomach. I had three days of spotting before my new doctor put me on progesterone. And I sometimes feel bloated, as if I've eaten too much. That's it.


I spend most of the time feeling pretty good and a little tired. I have absolutely nothing to complain about at this point. I'm just pleasantly surprised how smoothly it's going because it didn't seem possible after everything I've been through. It's just nice to hit the ten week mark and feel this good.

I Have a Secret (3w5d)

So far, other than Jay (who got to be here this time when I tested!), Sheri is the only one who knows I'm pregnant. Of course, I haven't known myself very long, but by this time last time, I think I had told at least ten people. Plus a few random strangers and coffee baristas. This time is different. I'm holding onto this secret for a little while, I think. Not because I'm worried about something happening (and that is certainly a possibility, given my history), but because I'm rather enjoying carrying this little happy secret around right now.

I don't think I'll be able to keep it to myself too long... I like sharing happy news (even when the happy news must be punctuated with caution). I'm blogging about it here, but it's unlikely anyone who knows me will stop by. (And if you have-- and I haven't yet told you I'm pregnant-- please don't get your feelings hurt!) I'm also copying these blog posts to my main blog, but those blog posts are closed for the moment. Right now, I'm just keeping a record of my experience until I'm ready to share it with the world (or my corner of the world, anyway).

I have an appointment tomorrow to confirm my pregnancy. Which basically means I get to pee for another pregnancy test. But it's the first step to getting my ob/gyn referral. I've been here before... and I'm hoping this time around results in a healthy baby.

According to my calculations, my due date is December 9. A holiday baby, to be sure. That's something to celebrate, right? It's too early for real symptoms (I think?), but I have the tender breasts again this time and a little bit of queasiness every day for the past three days. Every pregnancy is different, they say. So, we'll see. For now, I have a secret that makes me smile.

Seeing Red (6w0d)

Another week down, though it’s still so early in my pregnancy it doesn’t seem possible I’ve known for over two and a half weeks. I’ve been doing so well with not having any symptoms beyond the sore breasts and fatigue and mild cramping. It’s almost too good to be true. I’ve actually been enjoying this being pregnant thing.

Then, this afternoon, I saw red.

Just a little, but enough to startle me. Where did that come from? Why? The cramping continues, intermittently, a little more intense than it’s been in previous days. Or am I being paranoid? I don’t think it’s anything to worry about. But I worry.

As I always do when I’m concerned about something, I turned to my greatest comfort—the internet. WebMd, Pregnancy.org, What to Expect—they offer me what I need most—facts, statistics, information. They reassure me that what I’m experiencing is normal for the first trimester and the odds of it being something more serious, a miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy, are not likely. Probably.

Symptoms (5w0d)

I’m five weeks pregnant today. That hardly seems like much at all, but I feel like I’ve known for a very long time. According to one of the multitude of pregnancy sites, baby is the size of a sesame seed now. Last week, baby was the size of a poppy seed. What’s in store for next week, a sunflower seed? Interesting, this comparison to seeds. Also, I really need to come up with a better nickname than "baby."

I’ve been trying to sort out what might be legitimate pregnancy symptoms from just my body doing it’s thing. So far, my breasts are PMSy tender. I’m tired all the freakin’ time (which I keep saying is just me being lazy, but I really do hate feeling like I have no energy). For the past three days, I’ve had a little queasiness. I wouldn’t call it nausea or even morning sickness, just the feeling I get when I’ve been in the sun too long or haven’t eaten in awhile. A little food in my stomach seems to take care of it. I’m hopeful that I won’t get full-blown morning sickness. Aches and pains are manageable, but I have a tough time functioning with nausea. We’ll see.

The most worrisome symptom is the cramping I’m getting every once in awhile. It feels suspiciously like menstrual cramps, so every time I go to the bathroom I expect to see blood. Always the researcher, I’ve read that cramping is normal… but normal can feel scary. I try not to worry, but I think part of me isn’t fully committed to this pregnancy yet. I’m afraid to get my hopes up, knowing the statistics and the risks. Part of me feels guilty about that, as if I’m not really wanting to be pregnant and if I don’t want to be pregnant, maybe I can influence something “bad” to happen. They say you get irrational (crazy) during pregnancy and since that is a completely irrational thought, I guess they’re right.

But I’ve made it to week five and my symptoms are practically nonexistent. I suppose there’s a good chance this is the calm before the storm, but I can hope. I really would like to get my energy back, though. There’s so much to do and suddenly I feel like I’m on a very tight deadline.