Today was the due date for last summer's pregnancy. I had hoped I would be pregnant again by the time this day rolled around so I wouldn't be too sad. Still, there's an awareness of the date and what it represents. I'm not sad, not really, especially since I can see the ticker up there counting down the days again. Giving me hope.
I don't know why I left the old counter up when I added the new one. It is counting down a pregnancy that doesn't exist anymore. But, like the pregnancy test that I left on the bathroom counter (where it still sits, with a new one), it is a reminder of where I've been and where I am now. I was hopeful last summer and it didn't work out. I'm hopeful again... and still waiting to see what will happen.
I had several mornings of feeling nauseous and then three days without. It could be simply because I'm adjusting to the need to eat more frequently, but it's still worrisome when one of my few pregnancy symptoms suddenly stops. I realize the irony, of course. Most people would be happy to not feel sick, but when you're a pregnant woman, you want those signs letting you know things are on track. To reassure myself, I took another pregnancy test. The first test I took was so early that the pink line was barely a shadow. This time, about ten days after the last one, the test line came up quicker and much darker than the control line. A good sign.
I'm thankful my first OB appointment is in only nine days. That's a bearable wait. I'll be 6 weeks 5 days by then and I'm hoping for an ultrasound (and suspect I will get one, based on everything I've already been through) and to be able to see the heartbeat. There are no guarantees-- last time, there was a heartbeat at 7 weeks 1 day and three days later it was gone-- but every piece of good news brings me one step closer to December.
I'm looking forward to writing about the happy moments of pregnancy. Here's hoping I get there!
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