Getting There (32w2d)

Just a little update on the rest of the pregnancy goings-on:

My OB appointments are every 2 weeks now. That will change to every week at 36 weeks. I meet with the diabetic counselor on the 23rd and I have a growth scan (ultrasound) on the 27th. Hopefully baby isn't a 10-pounded already. (Scary thought.)

I am in the process of hiring a doula. I've spoken to a couple of midwives and childbirth instructors and I have a few referrals. I spoke with one of the doulas today and I really liked her, so we're going to meet on the 28th. (I also like that she's a former English teacher-- completely irrational, I know.)

My stack of reading material has grown. I bought Your Best Birth last week and got Hypnobirthing: The Mongan Method today (yay Amazon!). Suzanne is going to bring me a few more books when we meet on the 28th. I know I won't remember everything I'm reading, but hopefully enough of it will stick so that when the time comes I won't be completely unprepared.

My pregnancy and childbirth books will soon give way to the new parenting books and that stack is growing, too. So far, I have Secrets of the Baby Whisperer (my second copy-- I loaned my first copy out a few years ago and never got it back), On Becoming Babywise and What to Expect the First Year. Now I'm looking for a good resource on breastfeeding.

I have pre-registered at the hospital and I'm going to start packing my hospital bag this week. I still need a few things (baby's coming home outfit, a diaper bag), but packing what I have will make me feel better. I can handle just about anything if I feel like I'm prepared-- or as prepared as I can be. Having a bag packed and waiting makes me feel prepared. At least for now.

I am working on a contact/information page for anyone who needs it. It includes Jay's contact information in Dubai, the number for the Red Cross and the information they would need to get Jay home, Sheri's phone number, as well the numbers of my obstetrician and a few friends. I'm still hopeful Jay will make it home before the birth (and if I end up needing to be induced because of the GD, he should be), which means I'll have Jay, Sheri and my doula in the delivery room with me. That's the best case scenario. Worst case is I go into labor early and I only have the doula. (Actually, worst case would be going into labor before I've actually hired the doula, but I won't think about that.)

The baby announcements have been pre-ordered and the envelopes should be here in a couple of days so I can address them (and my holiday cards) over the next few weeks. The actual announcements will include a photo of the baby (which I'm going to put in Sheri's capable hands) on a snowflake background. Of course, if baby comes in November I'll have to change the design, I think. November isn't really snowflakey, at least not in Virginia.

And even though it's not pregnancy or baby related, I am almost finished with my holiday shopping. The goal is to be finished by the end of this month (readjusted from my goal of being finished by the end of September) and get everything wrapped and out-of-state presents packaged. The helpful postal worker at the post office informed me that I can order holiday stamps now online rather than waiting until they're in the post office (not until after Thanksgiving). Good to know. It's funny that I complain every year about how early the retail holiday season starts, but I'm frustrated this year because it seems to be taking them forever to put out the Christmas decorations. Baby needs a Christmas stocking! (As of tonight, baby does have a little red sleeper that says My First Christmas.)

So, that's where I am at 32 weeks, with hopefully 8 weeks to go, but likely a little less. My doctor would prefer I not go past 39 weeks, but he's agreed to wait and see what the growth scan reveals about baby's size-- and conceded he'd let me go until my due date as long as we're not having problems.

Just a few more weeks to go. I don't know that I'll ever be ready, but I can try.

Warding Off the Fear (4w6d)

It’s still so early in my pregnancy that I know I could be un-pregnant tomorrow. That fear stays with me. I’ve been there before. Even though the first trimester is considered the most worrisome, I imagine I will carry that lump of fear with me throughout the next eight months. How can I not? Age, previous miscarriage, fibroids—these things conspire against me.

I have gone to the bookstore three times now to look at pregnancy books. Each time, I have walked out without buying anything except the practical little guide Pregnancy Do’s and Don’ts, just because I wanted a handy reference. (Though the general consensus seems to be when in doubt to avoid most things-- and there is a lot of doubt about a lot of things.) The rest of the books scare me with all their dire warnings and grim reminders of all the things that could go wrong. Sheri said those books are called What to Expect When You’re Expecting Very Terrible Bad Things to Happen. That seems about right.

For now, I have come up with a surefire cure to ward off my fears of something bad happening: I tell someone I’m pregnant.

I had intended to wait a few weeks, at least until after my first prenatal appointment, before I started telling people. At this point, with a knot of fear in my stomach that is a hundred times larger than the tiny embryo growing below, the only thing that I will hold off on doing until after my first prenatal appointment is making this blog public. Because every time I tell someone I’m pregnant and feel their good wishes and positive energy, I feel better. Protected.

Good diet, proactive health care, regular exercise and caution in dealing with the hazards of life may be the key to a healthy, successful pregnancy, but I will take good karma, guardian angels and happy thoughts, too. Every little bit helps.