Letter to Lucas, 3 Months Old

(A picture of you at 12 weeks, taken by Aunt Sheri!)

Dear Lucas,

Hello, baby boy! You are three months old today! Where has the time gone? The days slip by even as I try to hold onto these moments, not wanting to ever forget how sweet and soft and warm you are in my arms. It doesn’t seem like it was that long ago when I was holding your brother like this and now he squirms and wriggles away and I know you will too, soon. Too soon!

Aunt Sheri just left after spending nearly ten days with us like she does every year at this time. She was very excited about seeing you and your brother—her “squishies,” she calls you. You didn’t get to have turkey and sweet potatoes at Thanksgiving dinner this year because you’re still too young to enjoy it, but you did stay awake through dinner! In fact, you are quite the alert little monkey for big chunks of the day. I enjoy your two and three (and sometimes even four) hour stretches of being awake. It’s fun to watch you kick and coo on the playmat and see how you stare at your brother with your big intense eyes.

Two weeks ago at your 2 month appointment (which was a little later than it should have been), you weighed 14 pounds and 9 ounces and you were 24 inches long. You are a big baby! You are healthy and strong, already holding your head up well and trying so hard to sit up. Two days ago, you rolled over for the very first time on our bed! I couldn’t believe it. It won’t be long before you’re rolling over both ways and sitting up by yourself.

Your brother has gotten settled into having you around and he loves your very much. He likes to pat your head and say, “Awwwww!” before running off to play. I have no doubt you’ll be running after him soon enough and I think he will be thrilled to have a playmate who is closer to his size. As much as I am enjoying your infancy, I am looking forward to my two little boys playing together! It’s going to be so much fun to take you both places and plan family trips. Soon, baby. Soon!

One thing I would like to enjoy a little more is sleep! Oh baby, some nights you are awesome and sleep 7 hours straight and other nights… sigh. You had a pretty good stretch for about a week and I thought we’d solved your sleep issues by swaddling you tightly and elevating you with a sleep positioner. But the past week or so—oh my! Two nights ago you were awake about every two hours. I thought perhaps it was because you were too hot in your fleece swaddle in your warm room, so we adjusted things last night and it went a little better. I really can’t complain too much, most nights you do sleep at least four hours straight and that’s not so bad. It will be nice when you sleep through the night every night!

You have been smiling for a long time now and your squeals and coos are a prelude to your baby laughs. I can’t wait! You are fascinated by things around you and you even crane your neck to see what’s on television sometimes. This morning I sat on the living floor with you in my lap and Patrick perched on my knee while we watched Sesame Street. These are the moments I will remember, sweet Lucas. I don’t have as much one-on-one time with you as I did with your brother because he is now an active almost-two-year old, but you are precious and patient and enjoy watching whatever we’re doing. I’m grateful for your good nature and easy smiles. I’m so grateful for you!

The holidays are here and this next month will fly by. You will be four months old on January 1 and I imagine we’ll be starting to try you on solids around that time (if not sooner!). There is so much to look forward to, so many more milestones to help you achieve, so many memories to make! One day at a time, baby… here we go!

Mama loves you. Always

A Letter to Lucas, One Month Old

Dear Lucas,

You are one month old, sweet baby boy! You came into this world weighing almost eleven pounds and with a full head of dark hair. Your hair looked for all the world like a faux hawk we had styled for you, but it was all you, sweetpea. You already have your own style—and such a sweet smile. They say babies don’t smile until they are a few months old, but you do! Your baby smiles come when you are sleepy and full and drifting off to sleep. And you make me smile, too.

I think the universe was sending a message with your birth, dear Lucas. In the week or so before you were born, we had an earthquake and a hurricane! The earthquake was a first for this part of Virginia and Hurricane Irene blew through a few days later. Plus, we’d been dealing with the ongoing smoke from wild fires in the Great Dismal Swamp. I think the universe was reminding me that Mother Nature is fierce and powerful and capable of anything—and here you are!

I’ll let you in on a secret, Lucas—your mama is rather old to be having babies. In fact, I honestly didn’t think I would ever have babies. And then your brother Patrick came along and I thought he was the only baby I would have. But the universe had other plans for our family and you arrived, big and healthy and another miracle in my life that I wasn’t expecting.

You can thank Patrick for being born first—he was my practice baby and everything I learned about taking care of babies was through the trial and error of taking care of him alone while your father was deployed. I am much more relaxed and at peace this time around, baby boy, and I think that’s a good thing for all of us! You make it easy, though. You’re only a few weeks old but you are already sleeping in fairly long stretches of three to five hours and you’re a very good eater, too!

You were born at the end of summer and I pushed for your birthday to be September 1 because I wanted you to usher in my favorite season. I love autumn and the promise of cooler weather and the brilliance of fall leaves and the warmth of comfort food. I look forward to the shorter days and longer nights because there is so much to look forward to in the fall, from starting school to Halloween to Thanksgiving. You are my autumn baby, warm and comforting and familiar and full of promise and magic.

My hope for you, dear Lucas, is the same hope that I have for your brother: that you will grow up to be fiercely independent and full of love and hope and imagination. You are still so new in the world that it’s hard to tell what your personality will be, but I have faith that between your father and me (and Patrick, too), we will help you discover who you are and what you love.

You look at me while I’m feeding you and I feel like you’re studying me. “Hello, baby!” I say, over and over, and you just stare at me with your serious expression. I wonder what you see when you look up at me, if you know how much you’re loved and how amazing it is that you’re my child. You’re probably just wondering why this woman looks so tired and sounds so silly. That’s what two babies does to your mama, sweetheart.

Two babies. I still can’t wrap my mind around that reality. Two babies under two! Two baby boys—though Patrick is nearly two years old and truly a toddler to your newborn status. But the days and weeks and months are already slipping by and you will both grow up before I know it. My hope is you will be the best of friends and always have each other’s back—brothers should be like that, I think. Friends and confidants, looking out for each other in all ways.

Patrick has the distinction of being my first baby, the one who changed my life the most profoundly, but you sweet Lucas have the distinction of being my last baby and the one who showed me that I am capable of more love than I ever thought possible. I knew the odds of having you were unlikely and now that you’re here and I see how beautiful and perfect you are, I am convinced I could not want anything more than what I have right now. Two babies, my first and my last. You are the two little miracles in my midlife—filling my world and my heart with so much joy and laughter and possibility.

It’s a great big world out there and I hope one day to show it to you. I don’t want to wish you older—being my last baby, I am determined to savor these early months despite the interrupted sleep and occasional crying jags (yours and mine)—yet I still look forward to all the adventures we are going to enjoy as a family, exploring what the world has to offer each of us. But for now, dear Lucas, your father, Patrick and you are all I need to make my world complete.

Thank you for coming into my world, Lucas. It was a pretty terrific place already, but you have made it bigger and brighter and wilder. Happy one month birthday, baby boy.

Mama loves you.

Introducing!

Lucas Donovan Wright

September 1, 2011 at 8:05 AM
10 lbs 15 oz, 21.75 inches



He is a big, beautiful boy with an amazing amount of hair! I am in baby euphoria right now-- and it's only partially because of the pain medication they sent me home with. :)

A Letter to Patrick

Dear Patrick,

I'm sorry I haven't written you more often-- after you were born I had every intention of writing you a letter every month. But the time slips by and my intentions fall by the wayside even while I marvel at all you have learned and accomplished in the time I have known you. You are just shy of being 21 months old and I cannot believe that in three months my sweet baby monkey will be turning two. I still call you my baby even though you are very much a toddler, into everything and exploring the world. I can see the little boy you are becoming and, because you have your father's features, I can imagine the man you will be. You are everything I could want in a child and so much more than I ever expected.

It is just after midnight on September 1 and these are the last few hours that you will be my only child. Your baby brother will be born this morning! After you, I wasn't sure I wanted any more children or if I could have another one even if I did. You were something of a miracle-surprise and it seemed too much to expect that we could be so fortunate again. But miracle-surprises happen sometimes-- and sometimes they happen more than once. We were very lucky. The time has flown by and in a few days, we'll be bringing your brother home. He will be moving into your old room because it is smaller and much more suitable as a nursery and you've been given a bigger "big boy's" room, which has caused me a bit of sadness because I can't think of you as a big boy. Not yet.

Even though your father and I are excited about our growing family, there is a part of me that will miss these months of it being just the three of us. For the first five months of your life, it was just you and me-- learning about each other and muddling through the best we could until we found a rhythm and routine that worked for us. It was a difficult but amazing experience. And while I was so very grateful to have your father home from deployment, I did miss the time you and I shared alone. This is no different-- it is an adjustment and a very good adjustment at that-- but things are about to change for our family once again and I know I will look back on these weeks and months and feel melancholy for a time when you were my only baby and we were a family of three.

I have no doubt there will be ups and downs in the coming weeks and I will likely count on you to be more patient and well-behaved than I have any right to ask of you (not that you're not a terrific kid, but you are still a toddler!). And yet I suspect you will surprise me in this as you have surprised me in so many other ways. You are so smart and funny-- and so sweet and gentle with animals (real and stuffed) that I know you will be a terrific big brother. Like I said, I can't really comprehend you being a "big" anything-- but I know when we bring your brother home and I'm reminded of how helpless he is and how much we have to learn about him, you will seem to have grown up right before my eyes. And your familiarity will be a comfort when your brother is crying and I can't figure out what he needs. (I'm also counting on you to use your big brother magical wisdom to help guide me!)

I know you won't remember being the only child in our family, but I do hope that you will love having a brother. I hope you will be playmates and confidants and, yes, partners-in-crime in a good natured way. While every change is adjustment, it's hard to see anything negative about this change-- there will be more love and laughter in our house, more fun and silliness and toys. You will have someone to grow up with and your father and I will have two amazing little boys to raise. All good and wonderful things. I will try very hard to remember all of that in the coming months when I'm trying to cope with sleepless nights with your brother and those defiant toddler moments you sometimes have.

Thank you for being my first baby, Patrick. If not for your amazing personality and sweet smile, I might not have even considered going down this path a second time. You have made it all worthwhile and I suspect I will feel the same about your brother. But no matter what, you will always be my first baby-- and for the next 7 hours you are my only baby. Thank you for coming into my life and rocking my world in the best possible way. You are, now and always, my baby.

Mama loves you.

My Boys